As a homemaker, inviting friends and relatives over brings me joy. Since home is where I care for the people I love the most, welcoming others into the family living room draws them directly into that circle of affection and becomes a very tangible way to connect our life experiences and build relationship.
Because I love hosting, I’m eager to make it a pleasant experience whenever we have guests, whether it’s a casual get together or a formal dinner. But sometimes, that eagerness can cause stress. With so many things I’d like to tend to, from tidying to cooking to looking decently presentable, there never seems to be enough time to get everything ready! Still, I believe that greeting guests as a fully prepped hostess is a worthy goal, and with a good plan in place, it is possible to pull off.
Why make a hosting plan?
There’s nothing wrong per se with standing over the stove when guests arrive, especially for an informal gathering. At the same time, there are several benefits to finishing preparations before the doorbell rings. My mom always says that pre-party, she likes to clear away and clean her kitchen space so that the guests won’t see the work that went into the prep; they can just enjoy the final product. To me, that’s a simple yet top-notch gift for guests, so I find it well worth the effort. Plus, being hosting ready on time allows you to give your full attention to hosting — that is, enjoying your guests and making them feel at home.
Of course, setting the goal of finishing preparations before guests arrive could trigger stress (“What if the doorbell rings and my pot is still boiling??”). Then again, ushering guests into a messy living room is also less than ideal. How can we strike the balance so that our hosting prep work is punctual and stress free? Based on my own experience and my conversation with a few veteran homemakers (particularly my mom!), here’s the procedure I’ve found to be most efficient and effective.
Order of operations
When I think about the tasks I’d like to accomplish before company arrives, the first question that arises is what to tackle first. In general, I find it helpful to prioritize my tasks from least immediate (what can be done ahead of time) to most immediate (what must wait till closer to party time). That tends to breaks down into three categories: room setup, personal presentation, and food & beverage. The specific order and allotted time per category will vary depending on the type of social gathering and on personal preference, so there’s no universal timeline. In order to tailor the timeline to a particular event, try writing down your tasks and organize them into these three categories. From there, it will be easier to see what can be done one or two days ahead of time and what needs to wait till the last minute.
Let’s walk through each of those categories, then build a sample hosting plan.
Room setup
Where will your hosting happen? Probably the living room and/or dining room (and possibly outside, if you have a backyard or patio). How would you like that room to look when guests arrive? Are there any major messes or broken items that need to be tended to? Based on these questions, a list of room setup tasks might look like this:
- Vacuum living room carpet
- Put away toys
- Add extra dining room chairs to the table
- Set the table
Several of these tasks can be done well in advance of when guests arrive — even a day or two before. In particular, I love having the table set in advance, since it’s a nice gesture to have guests walk in and see a pre-set table, as if waiting for them!
Personal presentation
It might sound superficial at first, but hear me out: I think it’s worth considering how I want to look when guests arrive. This isn’t because I think my friends will judge me otherwise, and it doesn’t mean I need to get a makeover for even the simplest lunch invitation. But who wants to open the door and then remember that I still need to brush my teeth? Or if I there’s a red top I would love to wear at the Fourth of July barbecue, I’ll need to make sure it doesn’t end up in the laundry that morning. However simple or intricate this step is, I find it helpful to make a plan in this category as well. My typical personal presentation list looks something like this:
- Take a shower and blow-dry hair
- Change outfit
- Brush teeth
- Touch up makeup
For the most part, these are tasks that should be done the day of hosting, but I can get several them done earlier in the day, several hours before guests arrive.
Food & beverage
If I’m planning to feed my guests (which I almost always am!), this is probably the most important category in my hosting plan. Usually, it involves some things that can be done ahead of time and some things that must be done right before guests arrive:
- Plan menu
- Buy groceries
- Put drinks in fridge or cooler
- Prepare meal
- Put food in serving platters
The first three items in this list can and almost certainly should be done in advance. Why add an extra grocery run when I can just buy the things I need for hosting on my regular grocery day, even if it’s a few days ahead of time?
For the last two items, however, I usually find that getting them done last is best in order to keep the food fresh and (if it’s a hot meal) prevent it from getting cold. Make sure to wear an apron and tie hair back while taking care of these tasks, especially if you’ve already done your personal presentation tasks!
Other Tips
1) Ask in advance about any dietary restrictions so that you can plan accordingly.
2) Don’t try to make something that you’ve never made before, since it might take you longer than expected. Stick to a tried and true menu that you’re confident in, whether it’s store bought sandwiches or your mom’s classic spaghetti and meatballs recipe.
3) Err on the side of simplicity. I’m often tempted to add an extra side or fancy dessert, but unless you’re very careful about planning accordingly for all those details, things can easily fall through the cracks, leaving you with loose ends still by the time guests arrive. I often find that doing a simple spread very well goes a long way. What matters to your guests is the thought and care you put into your preparation, not the fanciness of the food itself.
Putting it all together
Based on the lists in each category, build your hosting plan by organizing the tasks into a timeline. I find it most helpful to work backwards, starting with what I’d like to have done last and at what time. Here’s a sample plan based on the lists above:
Hosting plan: Bob & Sally for dinner Saturday @ 5:30
- Monday (my regular grocery day)
- Plan menu: spaghetti and meatballs, salad, brownies
- Buy groceries
- Put drinks in fridge
- Friday
- Vacuum living room carpet
- Put away toys
- Add extra dining room chairs to the table
- Saturday (hosting day)
- 2 (right after lunch) – Set the table
- 2:30 – Take a shower and blow-dry hair
- 3 – Change outfit, brush teeth, touch-up makeup
- 3:30 – Prepare meal
- 4:55 – Put food in serving platters (keep covered)
- 5 – finish; final touch-ups (last-minute tidying, light a candle, turn on music)
- 5:30 – guests arrive
Notice how I set my “finish” time for half an hour before guests are planning to arrive. I find that setting an early deadline for myself give me time for last minute touch-ups and being ready in case anyone arrives early. Of course, things are bound to come up last-minute, so give yourself buffers by overestimating time spent on some tasks when you can.
Going with the flow
Truth be told, even the best laid plans often go awry. Sometimes all the planning in the world still won’t get everything ready on time…and that’s ok! If the doorbell rings and that pot is still boiling, it’s not the end of the world, and I can still socialize while wrapping up my meal. (That’s another reason why I prefer to leaving cooking till the very end, since it’s better to be doing that while greeting guests than excuse myself to take a shower or brush my teeth!). Hosting is about taking care of people, so when the people arrive, they are the priority. The preparation is a means for making the guests’ experience as pleasant as possible, but at the end of the day, it’s just a means. Making a hosting plan helps me take control of my prep time without letting it take control of me, so that from start to finish, the process is something that truly spreads joy and builds relationship.
