How to balance cleanliness and comfort
Everyone wants the magazine-perfect living room. The color coordination, the right lighting, the best pillow arrangement, the neatly stacked books on the polished coffee table…easy, right? Well, not only have I found that image unrealistic, but it’s also uncomfortable. If a living room appears perfectly manicured, people might hesitate to sit on the couch for fear of disrupting the pillows.
In her book Home Body, Joanna Gaines describes how she fell into this habit herself, until she realized that no one enjoyed living in her living room! Now she has an entirely different approach:
“It’s an honor to be a part of creating something that really speaks to a family or an individual in a way that helps them live life more intentionally with the people they care about. Perfection never leads you there.”
Joanna Gaines, Home Body
So if isn’t picture-perfect, must it be messy? I certainly hope not! I do believe that somewhere in between the glossy, untouched living room of magazines and the disregarded maelstrom of couches and crumbs, there is a sweet spot we can strive for together. A place that’s cozy and inviting as well as well-kept and tidy (enough).
Finding that balance depends on each home’s layout, family circumstances, and personal preference. As a result, there’s no one right answer as to what decor or furniture is best. However, here are some general principles I’ve learned that can help guide anyone toward the actual perfect living room.
Why tend to the living room?
The living room is the central gathering place of a home. It’s where we relax, read, have conversation, and kick up our feet after a long day. There’s a reason why it’s also known as the family room. Striving to keep it both tidy and comfortable is key to making a place feel like home for anyone who walks in.
1. Cozy comes first.
It’s easy to get caught up in furniture that looks chic, artistic, or fancy. But remember that our living rooms are for people we love, not photo shoots. So however glorious a couch looks, if it’s not actually comfortable to sit on, it won’t invite people to rest there.
For my own living room (see photos below), I chose a navy couch and loveseat set from Raymour & Flanigan. The cushions are soft, and the rounded arm rests also make it comfortable for lounging. It also came with several accent pillows, which add both color and coziness. The navy fabric adds a touch of design interest by picking up the blue hints in the rug (from Wayfair) and contrasting the lighter peach walls.
To add another layer of comfort, I always keep a few blankets in the living room and usually have at least one spread out along a couch. This immediately invites someone to curl up and relax.
Softening a living room doesn’t mean that firm antique chairs are forbidden, but try pairing them with a more plush seating option. You can also combine styles but choosing an old-school pattern on a super soft couch, or adding a few soft accents here and there, such as pillows, blankets, and rugs.
2. Feature favorite items.
It might seem like designing a living room would require following rules about art or decor, but the real key is to put as much you into the design as possible. According to interior designer Paula Caravelli, a great way to personalize a space is with art. “It reflects the personality of the owner and sets the tone for the rest of the space,” she wrote in an interview I conducted with her for another article.
When deciding what will decorate your living room, start by asking yourself some basic questions about preference. Do you like modern art, or do you favor a more classical style? Do you like displaying family portraits or homemade art? What’s your take on collages or photography? If you find that the frames currently on the wall don’t match those preferences, it might be time for some replacements.
Caravelli also suggests using family collections, heirlooms, or even furniture to make a room your own. Move grandma’s antique serving platter from the kitchen drawer to a display shelf, or refinish an old chair for the front hall, and suddenly you’ve enlivened a room with some history.
Joanna Gaines nails this idea: “Our homes should be a source of happiness to the people who live there, so surround yourself with things that you love and let go of the rest.”
Conversation starters
Another way to think about living room decor is to ask what you’d like people to notice when sitting there. What would grab their attention and start a good conversation? In our living room, we have a beautiful old piano standing front and center. It immediately brings up the topic of our love for music (as well as the crazy story of how we moved it in!).
3. Tidy up regularly (not constantly).
So once we’ve made our living rooms cozy and personal, how do we keep them clean?
In her chapter on neatening in Home Comforts, Cheryl Mendelson refers to the “broken window theory,” a sociological principle that describes how crime can develop in a neighborhood. “If there is one broken window and it isn’t fixed,” she writes, “this suggests to malefactors that no one cares or that no one is in charge — that therefore it is safe to write graffiti on the walls, litter, and break other windows.” In other words, even a small defect, if left unattended, can snowball into a royal mess.
The same principle, Mendelson argues, applies to keeping a home tidy. And for many of us, we often see it play out in the living room. When one person leaves shoes, an open book, and a half-finished mug of tea by the couch, the next person who enters feels less bad about leaving a backpack on the floor, and the next person sees an invitation to drop a coat on a nearby chair.
By the end of the day, the living room is almost buried underneath all that stuff. What’s more, the longer we allow this to go on, the harder it is to pluck up the energy to do a massive tidying job, and the vicious cycle spins on.
One solution to this problem is to enforce immediate tidy-ups all the time. This keeps the room neat, but it brings us back to the discomforts of the all-too-perfect living room.
Both Mendelson and Gaines offer a more balanced and natural solution. In order to maintain order, every item in the room does have a home, but it need only be put back there at certain times.
If we look at our day, odds are that we can divide it roughly into different “shifts.” There’s the morning routine (breakfast, getting ready for school or work), some sort of work or activity time, lunchtime, the afternoon routine (home from school or errands, perhaps nap time, and dinner prep), then the evening routine (dinner, quiet work or rest, and getting ready for bed). I find that the moments of transition from one “shift” to another can be good opportunities to take a sweep of the living room and put things away as needed. So a coffee mug, newspaper, and slippers can be left out during the morning, but once it’s time to go out and about for the day, the cozy morning items get put away. If it’s an especially crazy day and I can’t tidy up then, at least a midday and evening tidy help prevent a total pileup at the end of the week. In addition, I have my schedule of household tasks to make sure that at least once a week, the room gets an extra dusting and vacuum.
4. Gather tools for a quick tidy.
If we’re going to be tidying up often, it helps to make it as easy as possible. Think about what items clutter the living room most often, and then offer them a simple and appealing landing spot. For me, having a toddler means that toys cover the carpet frequently, so I use storage ottomans and wicker baskets to scoop them out of sight quickly. Even our coffee table opens up into a storage space as well, so it’s easy to take out and put away a pile of toys without having to worry about organizing a toy shelf each day.
If you have limited space in you living room, using that kind of versatile furniture is especially helpful. Storage coffee tables, side table cabinets, and bookshelves with cabinets are all handy for a quick and easy cleanup. You can also use certain toys to double as storage areas, such as a wagon or play tent.
Besides toys (my world right now), you might it helpful to add coat hooks by the living room to prevent them from landing on the couch. A small basket or drawer can be a landing place for mail before it’s sent out or brought into the home office. A tray on the coffee table can collect mugs and water glasses for an easy transition to the kitchen and dishwasher. The idea is to make it easy to put things in a suitable place, even if they’ll be moved somewhere else later.
When it comes to cleaning up messes of crumbs, dirt, or spills, it’s helpful to have cleaning supplies within reach so that you can tackle them quickly. A handheld vacuum is perfect for getting rid of crumbs, and I usually keep a pack of wipes in a living room drawer to remove the bits of banana or yogurt that have found their way onto the couch or coffee table. Again, it’s not about always zapping the mess immediately, but whenever it’s time for a periodic tidy-up, having tools at the ready makes it a smaller job.
5. Build a positive clean-up culture.
Besides building this habit of periodic neatening, it helps to build the household custom of putting things away when we’re finished using them. So an incomplete puzzle can be left out (and even after it’s done, it’s nice to leave it out on the table for others to admire for a few days). But a finished game of Jenga needs to go back in the box, not strewn across the carpet. The pillows can come off the couch to build a fort at any time, but once we’re done and are ready for lunch, we put the pillows away and move on to the next fun thing.
For small children, this can become a fun game. Play some music, set a timer, or see how many items each person can pick up. It might even become as enjoyable as making the mess in the first place! And of course, it’s always encouraging to thank others for picking up after themselves, especially when they’ve done it without being asked. That positive reinforcement strengthens the clean-up culture, as well as a spirit of service, which makes everyone happier!
More Resources
“Five design tips to enhance your home,” Sophia Martinson (Theology of Home)
“Living Rooms,” Joanna Gaines (Home Body)
“Neatening,” Cheryl Mendelson (Home Comforts)
